Anoraksia

If you had an anorak made out of cheddar, could you see the hood for the cheese?

Syria

It seems virtually impossible that people can seriously discuss attacking Syria.  Their President is the spitting image of Captain Darling and even though he was a pompous oik in Blackadder goes Forth, he turns out for the good in the final episode.

Bashar Al Assad

Capt. Darling

Books 4

So I was floating around above the Earth in the space shuttle, reading the latest 'Focus' magazine.  Just couldn't put it down.

Books 3

I was reading the very sad story yesterday of an old and sick dog that was dying - just couldn't put it down.

Books 2

A friend of mine recently ate a book on conjuring - he is spell-bound.

Books 1

I was reading a fascinating account of 'super glue'  and couldn't put it down.

'Shit Teat'

You've just got to love this...

Marketing manager Emma Bradford said: "There's one single massive question to which we as a people must demand an answer - is this going to break the telly?

"Because if the glass shit-teat stops working, I'm on for some serious destruction of property."

Daily Mash